This is the one and only time I will ever address being trans-gender. Yes, I am - no, it is not ALL that I am. There is so much more to me than this. My gender has little to do with my personality, who I am, how I act, my friends, or basically, my every day life. I’m a guy, I live as a guy. Deal.
Recently on “Blogger”, I found this “Butch Lesbian” (I’m not naming names, quite frankly, she’s not worth the read to anyone who actually has a brain) whose entire blog is about the misogyny brought on by Trans-gender women and men. Mind you, her facts are completely incorrect and quite honestly, anti-male in any form. So let’s get things rolling with a few quotes, shall we?
Regardless of how long the lesbian couple has been together, if one partner transitions, the relationship will end within the first 6 months to a year. Lesbians desire, lust after, fall in love with WOMEN. NOT women cosmetically trying to be men. No female who truly loves females transitions. This is a trans myth, in the same way trans(men) are feminist is a trans myth. If you cannot love yourself as a woman, you will never be capable of loving, respecting, and valuing another woman as the woman she is.
So let me get this straight… a lesbian WOMAN will not love a MAN? Holy hell, eye opener.
Let’s be honest, most people who date trans-gendered people are bisexual or pangender. If not, perhaps love will help them overcome their “complete lesbianism”. I, myself, have never dated a “lesbian”, because I have always interacted with women as a male - as their boyfriend. In fact, I had many girlfriends tell me, “you’re not my girlfriend, you’re my boyfriend, you’re just too much of a guy”. I’ve always been male.
If I can’t value myself as a woman, I’ll never be capable of loving another woman? That’s funny, because I’m in a loving, committed, relationship with one woman who I intend on taking things to greater levels with. She’s absolutely right, I hated myself as a “woman”, but I damn sure love myself as a man, and I damn sure love my girlfriend.
A smattering of “before” pictures from girls who have transitioned. This isnt the handful of Butch dykes whose internalized misogyny drove them to hate themselves from yesteryear. These are your young daughters caught up in the latest trend, except instead of dying their hair or adding a few extra piercings that can grow out or come out, they are being issued DRUGS and SURGERIES by the medical establishment that WILL have lasting permanent effects even if they decide in a few years transition wasnt right for them.
So, there’s not much to say here except for “butch dykes” aren’t trans-gendered, so her point is moot. In fact, many people who are trans-gendered, prior to coming out, are incredible at blending in with society to protect themselves from well… people like you.
I think it safe to hazard a guess that the males in the lives of many trans(men) mirrored patriarchy perfectly to their daughters, rather than shattering it.
See, here’s your problem, you hazard a guess. You have no idea what it takes to be trans-gendered, and god bless you. I hope no one ever has to feel the extreme hate that most trans-gendered people feel. I wouldn’t change who I am now for the world, but absolutely no one deserves to feel the way I felt for 20 years of my life. No one.
These are her top ten signs you might be a “Butch Lesbian” consequently, the same top ten signs she has listed as you might “not be a trans-gendered FTM”:
1) You felt like a “boy” as a child.
2) You disliked “girl” clothes, “girl” toys and “girl” things in general.
3) You had a preference for “boy” clothes, “boy” toys and “boy” things in general.
4) You felt wrong (shameful) having to use the “girls” bathroom at school.
5) When playing pretend games you often (always) imagined yourself in the “boy’s” roles.
6) Your preferred playmates were often (always) boys.
7) When puberty began you felt depressed because you felt as though your body had betrayed you.
8) You wanted to die or disappear the first times you had to (buy) wear a bra.
9) Even if athletic, you felt a sense of physical weakness (inferiority) because your body wasn’t changing the way males of similar ages around you were.
10) As a teenager you felt more and more alienated from your body until you began feeling a mind/body split.
This comes across as a lesbian woman who hates her body. This… comes across as jealousy because Trans-gendered people aren’t afraid to speak out. This comes across as someone desperate to change her body, and to cowardly to do it.
If on the day that my period arrived, and for so many years later, I could have taken a pill to stop my period ever coming back, I would have taken it. I was so ashamed of not only of the physical aspects of menstruation (even its name includes the word ‘men’) but the social responsibility. I was so scared of anyone knowing I had my period that I made my father purchase sanitary pads for me. My mother treated it like a coming of age celebration and made it a family occasion to proclaim “Oh! My little girl became “a woman” today. My brothers burst out laughing and they teased me about it. I was mortified that my mother could take something so private and treat it like some kind of public rite of passage. She was proclaiming to me and my whole family “you are different now” and that made me feel more ashamed.
So you’re sure you’re not trans, huh?
So besides the obvious “MENSTRUATION CONTAINS MEN, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG” feminist bullshit, let’s discuss the actual meaning of the word menstruation:
Latin: Menses meaning “Month”, ation… clearly meaning “duration”.
You need to think before you speak. Not everything is a man’s plot out to get you and drag you down and beat you upside the head with his testosterone and big muscley arms that you so wish you had. Had you actually paid attention in high school, you might have common knowledge… like basic Latin words.
Somewhere between narrow sex roles and puberty nearly all Butches and many butch persuasioned girls develop body dysphoria around their breast and pussys. Their breast because their budding growth leave no room for doubt about their sex, their boy dreams thoroughly dashed, their pussys often times worse (greater dysphoria/shame) because of their monthly periods. Periods are a HUGE source of shame and discomfort mentally and physically for Butches and butch persuasioned females and because many Butches grew up with males and had males solely as best friends, once they got their period many would end up feeling quite cut off and alone because they had no close female friends with which to confide their constant shame to.
Very often it isnt until Butches are well into their twenties and thirties and with multiple lesbian relationships behind them (Femmes are a great comfort around this issue, and I’ve never been with or known a Femme who didnt take up the responsibility of buying sanitary products for their Butch-who even as an adult still often feels ashamed she needs such things) that they begin getting over the worst of their menstrual dysphoria, by and large most of us like all women, simply learn to live with it.
All these sorts of discomforts, misguided boy dreams, shames and body dysphoria’s are all what sadly is a “normal” part of Butch/butch childhood/girlhood/womanhood. None of it has anything to do with “trans” or being “born in the wrong body”, it does however have EVERYTHING to do with being BORN IN THE WRONG SOCIETY. Born in a society where we have become, each generation of Butches the vampires of our age. Because whenever we look into the mirror of society we have NEVER seen ourselves staring back!
It really just sounds like you hate yourself so much… you’ll do anything to hide it. I’m not claiming you’re trans, just that you hate yourself so much, you need to take it out on people who are actually courageous.
Seeing how I get a frequent amount of traffic here from trans(men) and women questioning whether they should transition, I thought it my civic duty to create a post about the honest effects “T” testosterone has on the female brain and body. I’ll begin by listing changes as outlined by both the medical community and trans(men) themselves and elaborate when needed. Let me add first, there are no long term definitive studies on the effects of “T” on the female brain and body, second the guidelines the medical community is currently using with regards to females and “T” dosage is based on the MALE body, NOT the female body.I’ll begin with the more clinical changes that testosterone can effect:
Testosterone increases red blood cell counts which can raise blood pressure levels due to higher red blood cell counts causing the blood to thicken. This can result in blood clots that can cause stroke or heart attack, hemorrhage, and/or heart failure.
Testosterone can cause changes in liver functioning resulting in possible Jaundice, which is a yellowing of the skin and other tissues. Abnormal new tissue growths on the liver which may be benign or cancerous. Hepatic adenoma (HA) a rare benign tumor of the liver and malignant (cancerous) tumors of the liver.
Testosterone may suppress the clotting factor in the blood, those with bleeding disorders should take extra precautions.
Testosterone is known to cause water and electrolyte retention resulting in abnormal buildup of fluid in the ankles, feet, and legs.
Acne
Testosterone usage may cause Seborrhea, a skin condition characterized by loose, greasy or dry, white to yellowish scales on the skin which may be temporary or continue long term with testosterone use.
Testosterone may cause periodic yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis.
Testosterone is believed to cause or worsen polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Which has been linked to an increased risk of endometrial cancer, as well as ovarian cancer.
The mental and physiological effects of testosterone on the female brain/body are as follows:
Lowers or changes your voice. (the truth-you will likely sound like a little person (midget) of either sex) There are a multitude of Youtubes out there to back this claim up.
Causes excessive body hair, often times greater than the average bio-male.
Causes head hair loss.
So, let me just say that you contradict yourself more than a the Catholic Church. Testosterone clots your blood… oh wait, no it doesn’t, it thins your blood and you’ll bleed! Which is it? You can’t have it both ways. As far as the “cancer” and “liver function” is concerned, yes, those are legitimate concerns with any hormonal change… same with menopause. Also, most people who transition have their uterus and cervix removed, as well as their labia and have at least the fatty tissue around the vagina removed and testicular implants. Should women stop going through menopause? This is why there are ordered blood tests and exams regularly. ”Midget Voice”? I’m pretty sure I don’t sound like a midget. Excessive body hair? I’m still not hairy. Head hair loss? I know WOMEN who lose their hair.
- Your clitoris will become slightly larger, depending on its size to begin with (the truth-your clitoris will not become a penis or become more than a few centimeters longer than it already is. Due to the coursing of the skin from “T” effects the clitoris may lose some sensitivity)
- Testosterone may increase your sex drive and alter sexual behavior (more on this later on)
- Testosterone will alter your body smell (in truth-your body smell will be strong and pungent, similarly to male body odor) and your vagina will no longer smell or taste the same
- Testosterone will change the smell of your urine (in truth-this too will become very pungent smelling/stinking similar to male repugnant urine odors just walk into a male public toilet to experience it for yourself)
- Testosterone can/will alter your emotions/moods (the truth-directly after a “T” injection you may feel everything from a testosterone high to fits of anger/frustration. If you have a history of violent behavior testosterone may increase that violent behavior, sometimes resulting in partner abuse and sometimes murder. You will likely feel depressed towards the end of your “T” cycle, particularly if you have had a hysterectomy and rely primarily on your “T” injection for hormone replacement).
- If you are a lesbian prior to taking “T” after “T” you will become ‘invisible’ to the women you once desired (see You Tube confessional) because your appearance will no longer be desirable or familiar to them. Because of your new trans(male) appearance, they may even treat you with the same caution as any bio male in their presence or space.
- You may NEVER in your wildest dreams imagined yourself capable of rape, in fact you may have been raped yourself, but some trans(men) in fact do rape women once they have testosterone coursing through their female systems. Sadly these rapes go more unreported than bio male to female rapes due to the embarrassment of the victim and the complicatedness of explaining having been raped by a trans(man). These rapes also go unreported because when they have been reported the victims get further victimized (not believed/slandered/stalked-hounded) by the queer/trans community who put the rapist first simply because they are trans. I will add here trans(men) are not above murdering a woman, these crimes often get buried by the trans community as well, some of which have blamed the murdered woman rather than the trans(male) murderer.
- You may never have desired having a bio male penis in your mouth, your vagina or anus prior to taking “T”, but after taking “T” the likelihood of desiring/and doing it is extremely high. For decades FTMs were and continue to be on the “down-low” (despite Butch/Femme Community denial) soliciting sex with gay men on various internet dating sites i.e., within the ‘Bear’ community, BDSM/Leather, Craig’s List etc. The “outing” of FTMs on these lists by bio gay men has highlighted the fixation those taking “T” have with gay sex. Sadly, many see successfully soliciting gay bio male sex as a confirmation of their manhood or success in passing and this therefore increases the risk-taking behaviours (such as unprotected sex with gay men) of those desperate to ‘pass’. (in truth-a gay male will have sex with a male or female if sex is what he is after, ask your local ‘faghags’ how frequently they have regular sex with gay men-I as a Butch lesbian have been solicited more times than I care to think about for sex with gay men, even with knowing I am a woman-this does not indicate any ‘maleness’ in my character-merely indicates they found me attractive and “swing” for me)
- Along with risky unprotected sex with gay men, comes the problem with HIV and other STD’s.
Ok… who cares? First of all, not ALL trans-men’s penises are the same, just like not ALL men’s penises are the same, or all women’s vagina’s. I know trans-men packing some heat, I know trans-men with almost nothing. This is all relative. If someone becomes gay after transitioning? Who the hell cares? Really, who cares? Trans-men rape people? Holy shit, lesbians rape people too, so do natural men, natural women, trans-women. Holy hell, genius, you’re on a roll. And wow, your “vagina” will no longer taste like a vagina, let me fill you in on something… Trans-men don’t want a vagina, this is a good thing. We enjoy our penises, and having them look and function like penises.
This is all I’m going to quote from her blog, I’m going to go into my explanation of how I feel.
Growing up, I hated everything about myself. I pray, on everything that is holy, no one ever has to feel that way. I will never change who I am now, I am happier than ever with who I amNOW; however, for 20 years, I would have given anything to wake up one day and say, “hey, you know, I’m cool with this”.
People who view transgenderism in such a hateful and spiteful way, they’re so blessed to not know that feeling. They’re so blessed not to sit in the bathroom and contemplate swallowing that bottle of pills, or doing some other damaging acts that could, worst case scenario, kill them.
My situation got to the point where I was living my life for everyone else… and I hated myself. It became a fight for my life. Do I live my life for them, or do I live my life for myself? I finally took it up with me, I finally confronted myself and said “this is goddamned ridiculous”. That feeling of hopelessness, when I started to actually come out and say “hey, I’m transgendered, and if you don’t like it, you can fuck off”, that all went away.
Let me get one thing straight - I NEVER came out as “lesbian” to my parents or friends. I just started dating women, naturally. I NEVER lived as a lesbian, I lived as myself, unfortunately in female form, but NEVER considered myself female, a woman, lesbian, queer… I was always male.
You don’t just wake up one day and say “hey, I think I’m going to grow a dick today”, then walk into a psychologists office and walk out with a prescription. It took me almost a year to get onto testosterone. It was the biggest step of my life.
I have never been happier. I have never loved myself more. I have begun enjoying life. Because I’m enjoying life and loving myself, I have found an amazing woman who completes me. So yes, I might have been born female. I might not have been born with a dick and balls, but it’s possible. It is completely possible to love yourself. It is completely possible to be happy, and find someone who makes you happy. Had I “stayed” female and just “accepted” myself, I can honestly say, I wouldn’t be typing this blog today. I would have ended the pain, the suffering, the self loathing. I would have taken matters into my own hands.
It’s not misogynistic, I’m all for women’s rights. I’m all for gay marriage, lesbian marriage, equality all the way. It’s a simple matter of this is who I am, and if it disgusts you that much, don’t look at it. Don’t write every single one of your blogs about it. Don’t waste your time. If you hate everything the trans-gendered community stands for, then don’t get involved. No one is asking or forcing you into transitioning. This is about TRUTH and LOVE of one’s self.
I hope this opened a few peoples eyes, I hope this has encouraged trans people who are in the closet to realize happiness is possible. People like this blogger will exist in your every day life, but as a person, you have to know you’re strong enough to take one on the chin and stand tall when they’re done belittling everything you are. That belittlement is only her insecurity speaking.
